Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
