i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
