I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
