when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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