he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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