She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
