if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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