saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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