I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
tell me about the fingering
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
