what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
