i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize