Do vagina's smell?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
