escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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