So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
