Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
