In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
