never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
