Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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