i will never coherently bang her
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
