We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
