u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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