I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
