I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
