you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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