I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
