i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
