I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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