the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
