she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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