Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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