I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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