I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
whose parrot is this?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
