Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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