I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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