Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
