You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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