I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize