I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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