he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Small penises have feelings too.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
