Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
