physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
When did angry sex become our thing?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
