Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
