her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Can you repeat that, but with context?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
