i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
