how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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