I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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