Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER