I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard