The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
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Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
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That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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