That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
