can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction