It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I need to sanitize my soul.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
