Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I enjoy the company of your penis
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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