That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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