I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
