My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
