; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
