Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
