i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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