I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
